I am sorry I came back a few months ago then I went M.I.A. all over again. I have not gotten distracted, discouraged, or abandoned opening my non-profit. I have disappeared into my research again. I have spent over a decade honing my skills, figuring out how to combine my passion and skills with living my purpose.
All my work is finally coming together, and it has been equal parts exhausting and exciting. My journey to Fuller Living has been incredible thus far. I am honored to share it with those of you that have been with me from the beginning. I am also happy to share a little background information for the people that are starting on their journey to hope, healing, and resilience.
Twelve years ago, I learned that I was going to be a mother and the thought of being responsible for another person terrified me. I decided that I was going to learn to be a positive influence in my child’s life once she was born. The problem was that I had no idea how to be a positive role model or to even feel like a decent human being. I grew up around a lot of adversity; it made it feel like learning to be a good mom or role-model was not possible for someone like me.
I spent years on my personal development, but I never really felt like I could be a good or healthy person. I tried several things that I was either terrible at or hated; the worst was my two years as a Guardian Ad Litem or G.A.L. The G.A.L. program and the people who ran it at the time were phenomenal, that said I had no business there given my background. To say gathering information about abused children and how their suffering affected them made me crazy would be a ridiculous understatement.
I do not have the money to spend all my time volunteering to look for ways to follow my bliss so like most people; I have a job. I have worked twelve-hour shifts overnight for years. Occasionally there are times that I am forced to sit alone in front of a computer for hours. I have ADHD so that that time can be painful. I learned to use the time as constructively as possible to make it more tolerable.
I would take online courses, watch documentaries, academic lectures, listen to audio-books, and browse the T.E.D. talks on YouTube.com.
I tried unsuccessfully for years to find a way to use my particular knowledge and experience to live my purpose until around the end of 2015 or the beginning of 2016. That is when I stumbled upon a life-changing T.E.D. Talk. That T.E.D. talk provided me with the missing link to use both my personal and professional experience in a way that is both helpful and satisfying.
I have had a lot of reading and learning to do about adverse childhood experiences or A.C.E.s and toxic stress, to reach my goals. I have spent the last two and a half years of learning everything I can about the negative; social, physical, emotional, and socioeconomic consequences for people with high A.C.E. scores without intervention.
My goal is to help people avoid unnecessary pain and suffering by learning to build resilience and find a way to begin to heal. However, once I thought I knew how to use my skills to serve my purpose, I saw the documentary Paper Tigers, and it changed everything again. Paper Tigers introduced me to a trauma-informed approach to healing from toxic stress and trauma, and suddenly, I have research to lose myself in all over again.
Resources for Healing Trauma 